Early movie awards show style

Cindy Adams

It’s awards season. Actors with the largest ego, fattest head, shortest p.r. guy, smallest bra — you get a statuette. Sunday it’s Golden Globes and Ricky Gervais. Tuesday was traditionally the first, The National Board of Review.

George Clooney, so gorgeous you could faint, shows every year. Nothing changes but his movie, silvery hair and temporary female whose behind he holds while scrunching together for photos. Only She changes. Before you memorize her name, the lady’s like Napoleon — history.

“I didn’t personally discover ‘The Descendants,’ which was adapted from a book,” he said. “My created films, which keep the budget low, under $20 million, ask questions and sometimes seem difficult because I like to challenge an audience. My next is Hitler’s stolen World War II art, which museum guys recovered.”

Usually in black suit, black shirt, black tie, this time George flashed a tux and jewelled studs. “Maybe because She also wanted to dress up,” hissed someone.

In a corner — Rosie O’Donnell plus Dame Helen Mirren. A quinella. In some beige lace thing, Rosie, whose voice was heard in Wyoming, boomed: “Like my Marina Rinaldi outfit? I figured it’s only $1,200. Cost me 5 grand. I used to dress in Target, and this is all because of Her.” The “Her” is fiancée Michelle Rounds. “Looks like a f - - - ing tablecloth, right? I’m not Keira Knightley, you know.”

From effing tablecloth to Her Majesty, presenter Helen Mirren who said: “I’ve only been to tonight’s event once before.” Of her coming Mamet film with Al Pacino about Hollywood record producer Phil Spector [imprisoned for shooting blond actress Lana Clarkson], it was: “A troubling case. No one will ever know the truth. Some say he did it; others, he didn’t. I make no judgment. I never actually met the man. My husband has.”

Sometimes called the world’s best actor, now up for supporting in “Beginners,” Christopher Plummer was supporting his wife, Elaine, whose right arm wore a cast and sling. “Did he hit you?,” I asked.

“No,” she sighed. “I did it myself. Got slammed with a tennis ball. I was wearing old sneakers, and the sole came off.”

Christopher: “From now on, I’m staying away from her on the tennis court.”

Elaine: “He actually helped put me together tonight.”

Niftiest dress, Naomi Watts’ gray Stella McCartney sheath with gold nailheads. “I’d like owning this for keeps, but it’s hard to wear again unless it’s someplace with no cameras.” Niftiest pants, NBR president Annie Schulhof’s black with steel beads. “Christy Rilling, who’s downtown, made them.”