Babysitters’ club

If you can’t get enough of the variously vacuous “Real Housewives” shows, have I got a show for you. It’s called “Beverly Hills Nannies,” and it’s about the people who raise the children of the vacuous.

If, like me, you’re so done with all these reality self-promoters, and you’d rather pull your own skin off than waste even 30 more seconds of your life on such drivel, skip it.

If you like ’em, however, the premise is at least interesting. Here, we have a bunch of exceptionally beautiful people who work as nannies for women who think they are exceptionally beautiful because they are married to wealthy men.

The truth is that all of the nannies (including the “mannies” — male nannies) are 50 times better looking than the pathetic, desperate plastic-surgery victims for whom they work.

In short, they are professional nannies who look like TV action stars.

The show revolves around Kristin Lancione, a dead-ringer for Denise Richards who just happens to know all the other nannies on the show (the “Housewife” conceit) and wants to start her own nanny-referral agency.

The nannies include Justin Sylvester, whose claim to fame is that he has “mannied” for Kyle Richards. He now works for the most hideous woman on TV in a year filled with them. Her name is Marika Tsircou, a woman who speaks in designer labels and wants the nanny to rub her feet and do her bidding. Her husband, listed as a high-powered attorney, should be looking for one of his own — as in divorce.

The others are Lucy Treadwell, from Wisconsin; gorgeous Aussie, Scott Cartmill; level-headed Shayla Quinn; and Shaun Sturz, who was voted a top manny, worked for Kenny G and writes kids’ books.

Then there’s Amber Valdez, an aspiring TV host who is my favorite for no particular reason.

Kristin, who seemed nice but isn’t, works for Cindy Margolis, former Playboy Playmate/ most downloaded woman on the Internet, whose favorite charity, I swear, is one that gives money to poor women for fertility treatments.

Kristin tells the other nannies that the only reason that Amber scored a gig is because, “Pretty girls are threatening to other women in this neighborhood. I don’t want to call Amanda ugly. I think she is a beautiful person inside and out. Maybe. Maybe not,” she meows. Talk about ugly.

As for the only celebrity on the show, Cindy Margolis, be warned. Her once girl-next-door good looks have been traded in for a “Housewife”-next-door surgery face.

But it’s poor Amanda we feel for. She has scored a truly horrible gig working for the horrifying Ariane Bellamar, who is unreasonably demanding and wears so much makeup she looks like an escapee from “Cirque du Soleil.”

ABC Family is such a quality network. They’re doing this? Really?